You may be wondering, who are the folks behind psychedelics-integration? Therapists? Scientists? Researchers? Well, I’m not one of them. I was, as you may be now, someone who decided to go through a psychedelic experience in the search for a better understanding of myself. Oh my, I found a little bit more.
My name is Andres. Originally from Uruguay, I moved to Germany six years ago. I was in search of something. It wasn’t clear how, but I hoped to be able to get everything I thought I was looking for; a career, some money, and, overall, an independent life where I could start again. Something you should know about me is that I’m a highly goal-oriented person. So naturally, I made a clear plan and executed it... three years after I arrived in Germany I had graduated with a German Master’s degree, was working in the startup world, partying, meeting a lot of people, speaking several languages, and traveling almost every weekend. But something was missing... I felt empty and I couldn’t figure out why. In retrospect, I can see that I was struggling with a lot of anxiety and mild depression, which was starting to stagger my life.
I know, I know, this sounds like another cliche story of some guy finding himself, but stick with me.
Long story short, after struggling with several approaches (from Biohacking to Philosophy) I had my first Psychedelic experience: LSD. That was the beginning.
During my first two LSD experiences, I managed to see my life from a different perspective. While it didn’t “fix” anything, I was able to use those insights to see that further change was needed.
My attitude towards therapy was skeptical at best. My thinking was that I needed to get more psychedelic experiences and trust that I could figure this out on my own and with my friends’ help. After some research, I stumbled upon an (surprise surprise) Ayahuasca retreat center in Northern Europe. After a lot of thinking, I decided to give it a try.
The preparation for the whole experience consisted of a phone call with the Guide and some tips around dieting and forming an intention. Out of curiosity, I bought a very interesting but very academic book that shed little light on the preparation of the experience (though it is still a great book if you are interested in a phenomenological study of ayahuasca from the Western perspective: The Antipodes of the Mind: Charting the Phenomenology of the Ayahuasca Experience)
I must admit that the old me really liked this pragmatic approach to psychedelics, and I was convinced that this would be another experience allowing me to increase my personal development and self-understanding.
Altogether I was really lucky; I found an underground community that was caring and full of love, and my first Ayahuasca experience was otherworldly. Twenty minutes after taking the medicine I went through what seemed to be a lifetime experience, where I saw, lived, and did things that I couldn’t make any sense of. Thankfully Mother Aya was careful enough to literally explain to me the key points I had to take care of immediately. However a big part of the experience was immersed in the world of metaphors, and cryptic to my reasoned understanding of the world.
"The preparation for the whole experience consisted of a phone call with the Guide and some tips around dieting and forming an intention."
The text expresses personal opinions and it is written as an informative text. It should not be considered to be professional advice nor should it be used as professional advice. Neither the Blog (psychedelics-integration.com) nor the author is liable for the wrong use of this information.
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